A thirty-something male friend asked me where can he meet women? He is not getting younger. He wants a partner. Marry, have kids, all of that.

My first thoughts were: But that’s not difficult. You go out and meet people. There are lots of single women looking for a partner and future husband.

On second thoughts, I realized that it can indeed be difficult to meet the right woman. Especially if you have recently relocated to another city where you know nobody except the few (married) colleagues at the company you work for.

In high school and college, it was easy to find someone to date. It was for me, anyway. I knew lots of people who knew lots of people, and everybody knew available single girls. Participating in sports, going out, visiting friends, parties, studying in groups for exams… the possibilities to meet girls were endless. And I am not talking about finding girls just willing to let you get into their pants, but starting dating and getting serious and building a meaningful and satisfying relationship.

Yes, hearts were broken, but that was life back then. Thinking of the college days now, I see it was a process of becoming an adult and learning to deal with life.

Back to the present. Let’s call my friend Peter. Peter works for a company where there are not really single women, if any at all, who he is attracted to and who are maybe attracted to him. Peter knows nobody because he has moved there only recently.

Now Peter tries to make friends but people have their friendships already established, and the city is intimidating and anonymous – some people do not even know the names of their neighbours or what they look like.

Peter wants to meet single women.

Where?

How?

I told Peter make friends. Guys he can hang out with, grab a beer after work or go fishing on weekends. Just get to know more people, it does not matter whether they are male or female. Get to know more people so that he can be introduced to more people and therefore to more women as well.

What are the chances of a woman knocking on Peter’s door by some miracle, and that she is single and they fall in love and marry and have kids and live happily ever after? None.

Dating clubs. Dating clubs exist because there are many people like Peter. If joining a dating club will be a thing for Peter, I do not know. Only he will. If he does not try it, he will not know.

Internet dating. Internet dating is huge. People are getting hooked up while they are online. If Peter does not try internet dating, he will never know.

I must also mention that Peter named a few “requirements” that women must have, but will post about that next time. Just maybe those “requirements” are the true obstacle…