That is not a good feeling at all. Those of you, who have been arrested before, will most likely know.
I have been arrested before. Not for playing music too loud or something like that, but for stealing, and assault to cause grievous bodily harm.
I got on the wrong track. Things got worse and worse, and then I started breaking the law. I always knew that I could get caught and then I would be in serious trouble, but somehow, as time progressed, I did not care anymore.
I lived for the moment. What might happen did not bother me. Eventually trouble caught up with me and I was arrested for stealing. I was lucky. I was released and told to appear in court the next day. I got off with a suspended sentence. I was free once again. That feeling of freedom, even though I was never in jail, was good. I decided to stay on the straight and narrow.
Then a year or so later, I got in a bar fight and hit the crap out of someone. Later, when I had time to think, I realised I should not have hit him that hard and should have stopped, but then, with him attacking, I did not have a long time to think and rethink. I just acted.
I was not arrested immediately, only later did the cops come knocking on my door. Friends suddenly knew nothing about me and they did not see a thing.
Being locked up is not funny. When that heavy steel door closed, the first thing I knew was that I no longer had freedom. I then knew the value of freedom. Freedom is priceless. There was a very good possibility that I could go to prison and do time.
I did not cry. I think I wanted to, but could not find tears. There in jail I thought about my future. Your future is going to be difficult, I told myself. I was not wrong.
Living with a criminal record, is not nice. Doors that were wide open before, close for you because of your criminal record. Finding work is difficult.
Explaining to people why you did not get a job even though you are perfectly qualified is also difficult. You fall in love and when you tell about your past, the relationship dies.
Nobody wants to employ a thief or a dangerous person who has assaulted before. Who wants to love a thief, a dangerous street fighter?
How can a shop owner trust a thief? How can a delicate, beautiful girl love a brawler?
When you are locked up, you have a lot of time. I thought about the above, and later, I experienced the reality of fitting back into society with a criminal record.
I picked up the pieces of my life and carried on. I desperately wanted to prove myself.
Being arrested is awful. Having a criminal record is like having a bad, infectious stain on your life. People do not want anything to do with you.
Luckily I have found a beautiful wife, who know the good inside me, and who realised that I have left the bad behind, for good. For ever.
The fact remains, that if I did not break the law, the life that I am now living, would have been better because I would have many more opportunities. There would have been more open doors for me.
The life I have now, I have accepted, because it is the life I have because of my own choices, and I try to make the most of it.